Sunday, October 4, 2009

Oh yeah, that's right, I have Lupus?!

In the warmer months of the year I forget that I have Lupus....I run and play as if I have no worries. Then the cold hands ache, my body aches, I get sores in my nose, and suddenly I feel like a 90 year old woman. UGH!

Lupus is not fun, it comes in all forms, mine come in the form of arthritis most of the time. When I am having a flare up, which I am having now, I feel like I have the flu and I get sores inside my nose....I know, gross right?! It stinks!

Another cause of flare ups is stress - um, as the mother of two young children my stress levels are already high - add in a little issue with one child, a challenging phase of another, a marriage on hold for hunting season, family drama, friend drama, busy time at work, a couple of college courses in an attempt to finish my degree, and this mama is stressed beyond stressed.

Life with Lupus is not fun, it's manageable, I have no complaints here because I watched a mother with two sons leaving my rheumatologists office and she was using a walker because Lupus affected her spine so bad that she couldn't walk without assistance. I was humbled....I can still walk, I can still go outside and play with my children, and I can still dance around as if I know what I'm doing. But that doesn't mean that my physical being isn't I am challenged, I worked at a football game yesterday and walked a lot in the cold. I used my hands a lot. And my immune system has been compromised because of a cold or flu that has been trying to attack me this week.

Today I am a single mommy because my husband is working and then would like to hunt this evening.....I am preparing a meal for his cousin and his cousins girlfriend who just had a little girl.....I am caring for my own children......and I have to practice hula for a performance this week. If I were a lady of leisure I could call in the nanny to care for the children, call in my cook to feed my children and Randy's cousins family, call in my housekeeper to finish my laundry, and call in my choreographer to learn the routine to teach me later - all so I could rest and focus on myself. But I live in the real world and today I will get through the day and when I can't go anymore I will go just a little more......tomorrow I will wake up and wonder why I am exhausted still and remind myself 'Oh yeah, that's right, I have Lupus".....grrr......ha! ha!

1 comment:

eally said...

Hey Angela, Thanks for visting and commenting on my blog this past week...I've been working so much I've not had time to even think about my blog! LOL
Bless your heart and all you have to deal with. I keep getting tested for Lupus but tests come back negative. The last two years they have said it's fibromyalgia...the body aches, fatigue and pain are so similar and definitely NOT FUN! I praise God my kids are all grown and I don't have to keep up with THEIR schedule anymore which involved every extracurricular thing they could jam in there. :-)
Have a blessed day!