Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Okay, so my plan and my bodies plan don't exactly match up.....

I set into motion my goal for losing weight, getting in shape, and fitting into an AMAZING dress. I put it out the into the Universe my goals, had a plan, and my body said "Wait, no, uh uh, this is what we are going to do instead.......chest pains!"

On Sunday, June 27th, I blacked out; on Wednesday, July 1st, I ended up in the ER with chest pains; and since then it's been about the same. I go tomorrow for a stress test on the treadmill because they believe that I have developed a heart arrhythmia. What is that you say? Well, it's an irregular heartbeat so to speak. What does that mean for me? I don't know yet, and I won't know until the test results come back.

Given that I have Lupus, there are so many other things that this could be because Lupus can attack major organs and the concern is that maybe this is a condition resulting from the Lupus.....until tomorrow we don't know for sure what is going on.

I do know that I am extremely tired all the time, have difficulty doing any physical activity at all without having to stop because I'm out of breath, I continue to have chest pains & numbness down my left arm and my intended plans have been halted until I know further what I need to do to make myself better. I am however, continuing my plan to watch what I eat, because after all, I apparently have some kind of heart condition and I want to make sure more than anything that I do everything I can to remain healthy.

My concern now is not weight loss, exercise or fitting into my dress....it's simply to be healthy, take good care of myself, and make sure I am around for my children for a very long time. This is all happening too soon after I read an article about an increase in deaths for individuals who have Lupus.....so that weighs heavy on my mind given that I never was scared following the diagnoses, I always tend to have a "Whatever it is, I will handle it and everything will be fine" attitude. Sometimes you have to realize that your life plan doesn't always match up with God's plan and I'm trying to work that out with him.....ha! ha!

I am taking one day at a time, looking forward to the test tomorrow and the results it will bring so that I know what direction I am going, loving my family and friends, and making the best out of every moment. Hope you are doing well in your goals and know that I am always cheering for you!