Friday, June 26, 2009

Can someone motivate me....PLEASE!!!

Okay, I am going to be honest here, I hate my body these days. I feel flabby, blobby, and just overall fat!!! I am within my healthy weight range....the higher end of it, but I just feel like I need to TONE TONE TONE!!! I do exercise, not religiously, but I am active and I do eat well - I just am not where I would like to be.

In 2006 I went on a diet plan and lost over 50 lbs. and have since gained about 20 lbs. of that back. Looking back I wonder how I motivated myself to stick to that plan.....I'm sure it had something to do with paying up front for the program and having accountability to meet with a counselor once or twice a week?! But I need to find that motivation again, that drive to want to lose a little weight and stick to a regular exercise routine.

One factor that I'm looking at is my 15 year class reunion is approaching, it's 57 days away to be exact. I am 19 lbs. away from my goal in order to fit into this amazingly gorgeous dress that I inherited (black/white, very fitted, sparkly.....awesome) - I have to lose approximately 0.3 lbs. a day and I am going to have to tone my problem areas ALOT. So I'm hoping that will give me a push to do really buckle down again and dedicate myself to being healthy and get tone.

Another thing that I am going to do is to blog about this journey every day and hope that my accountability will come from my audience. Kick me in the butt if you need to - I need it!!

So....I am going to reveal to you my numbers - this is always scary! EEK! I weigh to date - 184 lbs. a weight that I have been hovering around for awhile! During the holidays I was up about 12 lbs. from that, so I did lose that at least, which is awesome.....but I have 19 more to go!! I am 6 ft. tall and my healthy weight range is 147 lbs. - 184 lbs. - so as I said, I am at the high end! ; ) Losing 19 lbs. will put me right in the middle at 165 lbs. - and I feel most comfortable in my own skin at between 165 lbs. - 170 lbs.

So those are my numbers.....and how am I going to get to my is my plan!

1. Eat right - obviously - I will be entering my food intake at - it's a free website that tracks everything and helps you see the areas that are excessive, or maybe where you need to eat more.

2. Exercise more - I am going to make it a point to get up early every morning and tackle a workout. I have TurboJam, Slim In 6, Zumba, Wii Fit right at my fingertips and I have a black lab that loves to go for runs/walks.....there is NO REASON that I can't get up at 5:00 a.m. every morning and do something.

3. Sleep more - this my friends is a struggle for me......I have become quite a night owl and it's simply that I am up cleaning/picking up the house/catching up on ridiculous television and I have to stop doing bedtime lately has been past midnight - not good! I am going to set my bedtime at between 8:30 p.m./9:00 p.m. from here on out - if I am going to get up at 5:00 a.m., this is a MUST!

Three things that are essential to get me to my goal of "the dress".....and in addition to that - the best shape of my life. It's all in front of me and there will be obstacles (a huge town party tomorrow is one of I will give myself that day, 4th of July, and Logan's birthday) - but I have to be realistic about it and just envision myself in the dress with toned arms, abs, booty and I will get there.

I hope that you are always setting goals for yourself and pushing yourself to find ways to change yourself for the better!

Lots of love - Angela

Monday, June 15, 2009

Just checking in!

Wow, it's been since April since I last posted - holy cow! A lot has happened in the past month and a half and I guess I just haven't taken the time to write......or I simply haven't had time to write! Here are some mini blogs for you......

Are you a good citizen? - You know I love my little town and feel protective of it because it's where I've grown up, it's a place that I want my children to feel safe in, and I think enough of my town to want it to stay as quiet and neighborly as possible. With that being said, there was an incident on Sunday that shook me to my core and I hope that my actions were right. While on my walk I ventured into the neighborhood that I grew up in and while walking by a small house I heard voices, loud voices, and then little voices. The loud voices were screaming things that shook me up and scared me.....abusive, hateful, and vicious.

I continued to walk, thinking about what I could do, trying not to be naive in thinking that as a parent I haven't lost it a time or two. However, on my way back the voices had gotten louder and even more violent, enough that I jumped and prepared myself for something terrible. What could I do without interfering? There were small voices with fear in them and I felt as though I had to protect them. Luckily the police station was close by and I walked in and relayed my story to them and they were going to check it out. I went home and hugged my babies. Now I wait and I worry that everyone involved is okay and that my decisions were right.

Are you a good friend? - My friendships are super important to me, they always have been. I make sure to check in with my friends to see if they need anything, and am always willing to drop what I am doing to help anyone out. That has always been my style and even more so now that most of my friends are busy wives and mothers themselves.....we could all use an extra set of hands every now and then.

There are friendships that I had been concerned about in recent months, feeling a little used maybe, or maybe it was just disappointment, or maybe it was concern. I don't know what I was feeling, but I wasn't feeling great about the friendship and questioned myself "If you are being a good friend to someone and they aren't a good friend back, why do you continue being loyal to them?" - and before I could answer - it happened. A moment we have all been faced with, something we thought was so important that we risked everything for, my dear friend judged me and was disrespectful to me because I wasn't doing something that they thought I should do.

I was and still am hurt, confused, and heartbroken because of their actions and I am mourning a loss of a friendship that will never be the same. Is it over? Yes. Have I accepted their apology? Yes. Am I done talking about it? Absolutely. Are we ever going to be the same? No.

I thought about this on my walk yesterday, shortly before the other incident (my walk was really insightful and interesting yesterday!), and this is what I came up with. There are things that happen in your life that change you, and my hope is that the moment the change happens, I am a better person than I was the moment before the change occurred. I hope that the decisions I make in life always make me a better person and I hope that I am able to take a negative and make it positive in every situation. The situation with my friend has made me really look at our friendship and to see how much value I put into our relationship and to rethink that a little. Is change always good? Nope, but it shifts the direction you are going and gives you a fresh perspective on things and that's what I have, a fresh perspective on my friendships.

Are you a good spouse? - I love my husband, I really do. I have been with him as a partner since I was 16 going on 17.....Sound of Music fans, I know you just sang that, like I did!....we have been friends since I was 14. Does that mean that our marriage is perfect, not by any means - we fight over who did the dishes last, who wrote a check and didn't put it in the checkbook, etc. But we respect one another and love one another enough to know that in the scheme of things - none of the petty stuff matters and when it comes down to it we are a good team and we value one another immensely.

When you have kids, your marriage seems to get placed on the back burner, and dates with your spouse soon become a group cookout with friends where you are chasing the kids around, a trip through a drive-through fast food joint and the latest children's movie, or sitting in the ER waiting room with a child who is vomiting and running a temp. So when you schedule a date with your husband, you suddenly feel your heart flutter with excitement, you look forward to the moment you are in the car with him and know that you won't be refereeing fights from the back of the car, you dream of the menu that doesn't come with crayons and a cool keepsake cup, and you dress up in the outfit that is pushed to the waaaaaay back of your closet behind the sweat pants and zip up hoodies. sweet husband recently planned a date and we enjoyed both dinner and a movie and we did not, I repeat, we DID NOT stop by the grocery store to pick anything up on the way home. We watched a hilarious R-rated movie and we ate a great meal where we quietly talked about life. I can't wait for our next date, maybe I will plan one soon and surprise him. Until then, I look back and think of what a great time I had and how it was nice for those few hours to just be man and wife and not dad and mom.

Are you a good student? - Just because you are no longer in school, doesn't mean that you should stop learning. With that said, I'm back in school.....ha! I have taken awhile to complete my Bachelor's degree and with the encouragement of my husband and my boss - I am taking classes again so that I can do that. I know that 6 semester hours doesn't seem like much, but it is.....and I have added it to my plate along with everything else and I am trying to find the balance. I am doing my very best and I hope that when I walk across the stage to get my degree, I will show my children that you need to value yourself enough to set goals and follow them through no matter how long it takes.

This my friends is all for today - I hope that you are having a great summer and that I will check in more often.