Friday, November 20, 2009

Before you point your finger, stop and look at how many fingers are pointing back at you.

Sound advice from the Christian radio station that I frequently listen to. I have found myself in situations recently where there has been a lot of finger pointing and I've had to stop myself from pointing back because I know that I am not perfect and I'm willing to accept myself for who I am. I look at the individuals who have done the finger pointing and know that deep down I am the scapegoat for their life issues - does it bother me? A little. Does it change me? Not anymore. I am a grown woman, a wife, a mother.....I have the weight of my own life on my shoulders and refuse to carry anyone else's.

When you point your finger at someone think about the real reason you are doing it. Are you just really unhappy in your own life and it's easier than facing your own problems? I know I'm guilty of doing that - it's easier to point out someone else's flaws rather than really looking at your own. Nobody is perfect and I have found in my journey through life that sometimes it's so much easier to laugh at yourself and say "I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry for what I said/did, etc." and everyone can move on. Accepting yourself, flaws and all is not a simple life lesson and can some times be a very difficult pill to swallow - but it means your human.

I recently had someone tell me something that was being said about me and I didn't react to it like they thought I should - I just took it all in and said "If that's what they think, that's fine, but I know the truth" and they acted as if I should create a scene, a confrontation, clear the air.....but like I said, I know the truth and the truth is what will carry me through any situation. Would I feel better screaming and yelling and carrying on? Not really, maybe for a moment, but screaming at someone at my age just makes me look crazy - ha!

So if you are in a situation right now where fingers are being pointed at you, terrible things are being said, and your character is being challenged - look at the source, look at the real reason they are doing what they are doing. Are they so incredibly unhappy and miserable in their own life that they are willing to put you out there so nobody will really look at them? Probably. Stand strong, be your own person, and be comfortable with the truth.

Some things don't warrant a response and I have had to bite my tongue many many times this past year in different situations - and it's for the best. I am comfortable with myself, my flawed, imperfect self, that is in a marriage that at times seems so dysfunctional, with children that are far from Peter and Bobby Brady, and family that is just sometimes laughably insane.

Don't you look at me so smug
And say I'm going bad.
Who are you to judge me
And the life that I live?

I know that I'm not perfect
And that I don't claim to be.
So before you point your fingers,
Be sure your hands are clean.

Judge not
Before you judge yourself.
Judge not
If you're not ready for judgement. Woah oh oh!

The road of life is rocking
And you may stumble too.
So while you talk about me,
someone else is judging you.

**Bob Marley**

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