Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Today has been a good day....baby steps

My husband and I quietly picked up our children from their after-school program yesterday - fingers crossed that it had been a good day. They both survived the day - minor infractions for misbehavior, but they both survived - so far so good. As we drove home a little 8 year old hand was on my shoulder with a very quiet voice saying "I'm sorry for my behavior this morning mommy, I hope you didn't cry all day".....well, I hadn't cried all day, but I was definitely crying then.

Homework was done without incident, dinner was typical - family banter, discussions of how everyone felt their day went, and afterwards my husband and my oldest son played Connect Four and my youngest and I played Super Mario on his DS (my secret addiction). The evening was quiet and the issue came at bedtime, like it always does.....one child can't sleep for one reason or another and they end up in our bed.

This morning our oldest son did everything without incident, the youngest was a bit of a pill - not wanting to wake up - no biggie, and the only time I raised my voice was when the boys argued for the millionth time about who was getting out of the car first. As I type this I just came up with my solution.....one can sit in the passenger seat and they can both get out first. Now, however, the argument will be who is going to sit in the passenger seat! Oy vey!

So far today has been a good day and we take our baby steps into the rest of the day with hopes and prayers of continued peace for our family. I feel completely wiped out by the stresses, but I hold hope that the future will bring us answers, tools for success in raising our children to the best of our abilities, and ideas on how to handle mornings like yesterday morning. I am actively searching for a support group of some sort for my husband and I....the few that I have found in this area don't quite meet our needs. However, there are some options for us.

Living with children who have ADHD, ODD, anxiety issues, or any other out of the ordinary behaviors is difficult and you really do have to take it day by day with little to no expectations of what you are going to get from them every day. The element of surprise is something that could trigger anger in a parent - if something sets your child off that you weren't expecting you have to just go with it and not try and force it. I'm a little bit of a Type A.....so I am trying to re-train myself not to be so controlling. Our children are learning, we are learning......it's not easy, but we will get there. We will get there right?

The same boiling water that hardens the egg will soften the carrot. So it is with children. Everything depends on the individual’s particular reaction to stressful circumstances. ~ Hide or Seek

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