Tuesday, April 28, 2009

You know it's been awhile, but I'm glad ya' came.....

I have taken a break from blogging due to complete chaos in our lives....remodeling! My husband and I take our tax return and put it into home improvement projects and this year those projects were mainly indoors - new paint, new flooring, new tile, etc., etc., many changes in our home and I am a very lucky girl because my husband knows how to or at least figures out how to do it all himself.

In addition to the busy lives we lead I have found myself with not a lot to say lately - I am blessed with an amazing family, a beautiful marriage, great children, and friends that are more dear to me than life itself. However, there's a situation I find myself in that hasn't been easy and it's been a tough choice for me and so that has quieted me a little. Fortunately the spring is giving me the feeling of new life and with the choices I've made I feel like a new life is awaiting me and it's refreshing!

Now, I am sure that your interest is peaked, so what is this choice I've made? Well, I decided to remove toxic people from my life and while it can sometimes be as simple as hitting the delete button on your friends list on Facebook, other times it's family members and that's not as simple. After years of being the brunt of negative comments and ridicule from one particular person, I decided that it was time to cut the cord.....I wanted so badly to form a bond with this person and it simply never happened and even though I gave up - I know that I made great efforts to have a relationship without any reciprocation, so I don't consider that failure on my part, I consider that her great loss.

My husband has been caused great pain by this decision, and it's not pain inflicted by me.....it's coming from the other side. And it makes me sad for him - he is an amazing person that deserves all of the happiness and love in the world and I am really blessed that he came into my life when he did. He has saved me from myself so many times and I am the person I am today because of him. And I feel like I have shown him what true love is and that love is shown in your words and your actions. We are certainly not a perfect couple and as recently as Saturday night had an argument and talked things out and worked through it like two adults - that's what marriage is about - it's not being negative, spouting cruel comments at each other, and holding grudges.

I think it's unfortunate the situation we are in and fear that it will be too late for the other party involved to really know what it's like to have my husband and I on their side - we are good people, we are willing to help anyone in need without questions or expectations, we are hard workers and we are fully self-sustained and don't depend on others to contribute to our lives so that we can survive. Maybe because we are pretty much drama free we seem boring.....but we are far from that. Some people thrive on drama.....but our lives are so stressful as it is - we try to avoid drama at all costs. The only drama in our lives is inflicted by others and if they don't know this by now, we don't care - we may have cared about it at one time, but we really don't care about it now. Life is too short.

So while I've been quiet, there has been a lot going on.....both home remodeling and life-remodeling! ha! My heart is full and my life is good - what more could a girl ask for? Well, maybe some new shoes? ha! ha!

1 comment:

Laurie said...

I came across your blog while reading Nic Diehl's blog. She's turned me on to some pretty funny people, so I click around on her faves from time to time. (I am a relative of Nic's college roommate, in case you were wondering!)

I found your entry very insightful for a number of reasons. Most importantly, I recently made the same promise to myself about removing from my life the toxic burdens carried by other people. I termed it "pushing away the ick". Unfortunately, one of the people I am forced to detach from is the one person you should never have to feel that way about. I can completely relate to (and sympathize with) what you're going through. I hope you find some peace with your decision, however the chips fall. Best of luck to you.